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Grief, Loss and Heartbreak:

The Gifts Within and Beyond The Pain

“Grief is necessary for the vitality of the soul,

it will open your heart like almost nothing else can”

I welcome ALL of you here, to open your heart to the grief you are holding in the depths of your heart and being🙏


Loss and the accompanying grief that arises, is painful, unsettling, often unwelcome and uninvited - and touches us in our most tender, wounded places. Loss is happening in every moment. No moment ever the same. And when the huge losses happen, if we’re not accustomed to opening to the pain, we often feel as if struck down by lightning, swept away by despair, or stabbed with the most excruciating pain we’ve ever felt - or just so numb that we can’t feel anything. 

When we are hit by a big loss and are plunged into grief, unable to repress it, all the unresolved emotional loss from our past that we haven’t fully grieved will also be a part of the grief we are feeling. Whether it be from the loss our inner child feels from never being fully loved and cherished, a friend who betrayed us, a childhood pet who died, or a huge loss like the death of our parents or partner, all losses are interconnected. 

Most of us have this projection onto sorrow and grief, as if it is some depressed state, but it only becomes that way because of our avoidance. We become oppressed by the weight of all the unexpressed grief in our lives. Expressing your grief will eventually bring joy, gratitude and the gift of compassionate aliveness, but it will take walking through the pain to heal in this way. 

Our culture does not welcome, nurture and support grief. We are expected to “get over it and move on” after 5 days of “bereavement leave”. When the truth is, huge losses can take anywhere from 1-3 years to fully grieve, and some stay with you for the rest of your life. Never as intense as the first 1-6 months, but still there in your heart of hearts. Some loves in our life will always be missed. Another deep truth of life and the inevitable losses of those we love, is expressed so poignantly in this quote below:

Grief is the price we pay for love...




My soul-centered psychotherapy practice is dedicated to the inner work of meeting grief, loss, illness and life transitions through Mindfulness-Based and Somatic Therapies. I have personally walked this path of healing for thirty-four years, and am a living example of surviving devastating loss, the proof that one can emerge from many dark night cycles of grief and loss, and survive and thrive. 

You can and will come to the other side of your grief, where you begin to feel like yourself again. You will eventually begin to feel joy and ease. Grief is a process, a moving, living, breathing process. It will change over time, and over time the pain and sorrow of grief will reveal the gifts it has to offer: deeper contact with your own beautiful heart, the ability to be more compassionate and present for others pain, cultivation of loving kindness and forgiveness, and greater trust in your own inner journey.

*The page on “Healing Anxiety” is yet to come. There will be a link here in the coming months. 

“Contrary to our fears, grief is suffused with life force. It is not a state of deadness or emotional flatness. Grief is alive, wild, untamed and cannot be domesticated. It resists the demands to remain passive and still. We move in jangled, unsettled, and riotous ways when grief takes hold of us. It is truly an emotion that rises from the soul”

Francis Weller, Author of Wild Edge of Sorrow:

 Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

“The heart that breaks, opens wider to love and compassion, with every tear, with every shout. 

Grief makes the heart fluid, open and soft - making compassion possible.

Fully feeling your grief will heal your life and open your heart in ways beyond your wildest dreams! 

-Starla Dean-

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